Confessions
by Vuli
Summary: After the first battle at the Noah site, Yu shares a revealing moment with Jean. Shounen ai.


Title: Confessions

Author: Vuli

Rating: PG

Summary: After the first battle at the Noah site, Yu shares a revealing moment with Jean.

Pairing: Yu+Jean, and vice versa.

Warnings: Shounen ai. Infinitesimal amount of angsting. Slightly AU.

Disclaimer: Three names. Hiroshi Takashige, Ryouji Minagawa and Bandai. Spriggan is their sprog, not mine.

Archive: Take it if you like it. There aren't enough Spriggan fics out there anyway!

Feedback: raichuelectric@hotmail.com; comments much appreciated.

Author's Note: The dialogue at the start is taken from the dub. And I don't know where the sappy fluff came from. It was _supposed_ to be angsty. ^_^;

Background: Set during the conversation between the Spriggan after Yu kills his ex-commander.

**Confessions**

"You let your heart rule you." Jean shifted his weight from the wall behind him, propped his rifle against one shoulder, and glanced down at the huddled figure beside him. There was no keeping the exasperation from his voice as he spoke, and the words came out harshly, bitingly. "A Spriggan can't let his feelings affect the way he thinks or acts. You can never allow yourself to forget that if you fail in your duties, you endanger the life of every man, woman and child on this planet."

He started to pick his way down the debris-strewn slope, intending to leave the younger man to his thoughts. Perhaps not the best idea, considering that those thoughts would continue to dwell on the past, but hopefully his words would have some impact. The sound of Ominae's voice surprised him.

"What about my feelings for you?" Yu asked softly, his arms looping tightly around his knees. "Am I supposed to disregard those as well?"

Jean paused a few steps down the slope, his head tilting slightly, before a quiet chuckle escaped the blond Spriggan. "What feelings are those, Ominae?" he enquired with a note of amused reproach in his voice. "Love?"

"No." The younger man stared at his comrade's back, watching the long ponytail drift in a brief draught of frigid air. Jean's hair had always fascinated him, if only because it contrasted so sharply with his own. "Not yet, anyway. But it's more than just friendship."

"I see," Jean responded, half-turning to look at him. Any trace of humour was gone from his face, his pale eyes clouded and distant as he studied Yu gravely. "What is it you want from me, then?"

Yu blew out a breath and tried to ignore the hollow ache in the pit of his stomach, painfully aware of the coolness in his friend's gaze. The conversation was growing uncomfortable, veering abruptly away from how he had imagined it…or perhaps it was too real. He had never thought himself idealistic – as a Spriggan, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of naivety – but he had assumed that Jean would show a little more emotion. 

_What was I expecting? _Yu admonished himself scornfully. _That he would sweep me into his arms and kiss me? That he would tell me that **he** loves **me**? Idiot._ Aloud, he said, "I wanted an answer…but I guess I don't even need to ask the question. I'm sorry, Jean. I shouldn't have mentioned it." He rose quickly and brushed down his pants, already moving away.

"Ominae!" The call came after he had walked no more than a couple of metres, bringing him to a halt, and he felt himself tense unexpectedly at the sound of footsteps crunching through the snow behind him. "The answer is no."

"What?" Yu faced the other man, bewildered by his remark.

Jean's face softened into a gentle smile, so unlike the confident smirk that he usually wore. "You asked if you were to disregard your feelings for me, and I don't believe you should. If we suppress _everything_ we become as much a machine as the man you killed last night."

For several moments, all Yu could do was stare wide-eyed at the older Spriggan, stammering soundlessly. "That wasn't the question I meant," he blurted out at last, conscious of a blush creeping across his cheeks.

"I know," Jean murmured, stooping abruptly and pressing a firm but affectionate kiss to Yu's lips. He held the contact long enough for the younger man to recover and begin to respond before drawing away and placing his mouth close to his friend's ear. "When you decide what you _really_ want from me, let me know." 

And then he pulled back and sauntered off, casting a look over his shoulder long enough to call out, "Just remember that emotions can't take more importance than duty."

_Don't let him walk away, you fool! You **know** what you want_. Breathless, Yu watched Jean's retreating form. _Love or not, you want him. _"W-Wait." The word shuddered past his lips, little better than a hoarse whisper, galvanising his body into movement. "Wait!" he called again, his voice stronger now.

Jean had gotten barely a dozen strides away, and was just turning in his direction when Yu caught up to him. Before he'd stopped moving, the Japanese Spriggan had clasped his comrade's arm, turning the taller man to face him fully, his other hand anchoring itself at the back of Jean's neck, pulling the blond's head down. 

"I want all you're willing to give me," he said quietly, leaning up to bring their mouths together a second time.

The rifle still slung over Jean's shoulder slipped off and out of his grasp, sinking into the snow at his feet. The kiss was hard, deep, insistent, and for the first time Jean found himself submitting to another, if just for this fleeting moment, enjoying the press of Ominae's body against his own. 

His eyes flickered open when he felt Yu back off a little, softening the kiss, finally breaking it to look up at him. This close, Jean couldn't miss the uncertainty in his coffee-coloured gaze. The smile returned, and he pulled his arm from the teen's grip to take his hand, touching his lips to gloved fingers.

"Then I'll give you everything I can."

With an answering smile, Yu squeezed Jean's hand. The meaning of his words wasn't lost on him. Until they were released from their responsibilities as Spriggan, duty had to come first. But if it meant he could remain by this man's side for as long as he was able, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

Owari


End file.
